50 Movies in 100 Days: Warlock: The Armageddon

March 12, 2013

Warlock: The Armageddon

I, for one, can’t call this a good film.  In fact, it was really a pretty bad film, because the acting was bad, the writing was bad, and the special effects were beyond bad.  This movie was made in the early 90’s, but I have to say, that there is little to no hope for the special effects or the movie with the whole premise, and everything that went on with it.

The story dates back to the middle ages when there were a set of six stones which were needed to summon Satan, but only the Warlock could summon him, and only once in a while, every 500 years, I believe, could the Devil be summoned.  So the Warlock comes to Earth, and he has a few days to get all of the stones, otherwise the time will have passed and they will have to wait a long time again.  So the Warlock comes, who looks surprisingly like Julian Assange, and finds most of the stones, but there are two warriors who can stop them, but they are kids, and they don’t know they are warriors until a day or so earlier, after the Warlock has come to earth.  However, their combined power, and love for each other they are able to defeat Warlock.

The acting in this film is bad.  The Warlock is played by Julian Sands, which is why I find it hilarious that he looks so much like Julian Assange.  Otherwise the rest of the cast isn’t worth noting, not of the actors or actresses are really memorable.  And that is probably because this was such a bad thing, and I have to imagine whatever they are doing now (hopefully not acting) is better.

Visually is where this film really “shines”.  The visuals are just terrible as they try and do computer generated effects, but that doesn’t work well in the early 90’s.  In fact they try and show a dagger one second as the real dagger and next as this blocky pixelated mess which they then decide is a good idea to show on the screen for the next few minutes making terrible turns as it moves between two characters who are trying to kill each other.  It isn’t bad, it isn’t hilariously bad, it is almost unwatchably bad.

This film is a definite skip.  I’m trying to think of any redeeming qualities, and the best one that I can come up with is that Julian Sands and Julian Assange look extremely similar which made seeing the Warlock on screen kind of funny.  But other than that, there isn’t anything that makes it worth watching.  I’ll suggest to everyone that they skip it, if you want to see the resemblance, I’m sure there is some youtube video of 30 seconds of the film that would be better to watch to see it than actually watching this mess of a film.

Critical Grade: F

Entertainment Grade: D-

Overall Grade: F


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